That John Denver is full of shit

Listening to: Josh's amazing mix CD

So..I'm back in Colorado. I could tell you about the 18 hours of driving from California but I already know nobody wants to hear about it. But I will tell you that Watching the sunset in Arizona/Utah was easily in the top 10 for most beautiful things I've ever witnessed.

I want to first let everyone know that I am not "happier" to be in Colorado. I do not feel better being back in Colorado. I am hear because I know it's the right move to make towards focusing on school and finishing in two years. If school wasn't a factor, I would absolutely still be in California. Although I say I'm not happier to be in Colorado, that doesn't mean that I'm not going to try to make the best of this. I'm going to enjoy this state and all it has to offer. I'm going to have great times with my friends. I am also going to make a lot of new friends. In the past, I would focus on how much I did not want to be in this state and it tore me apart. it made me miserable. I'm not doing that again.

Leaving California was almost impossible for me to do. It was by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I was surprised at how I did not shed a single tear as I had to say goodbye to all of my best friends and the apartment that brought me some of the best memories of my life thus far. However, about an hour into the drive it hit me. I was listening to Josh's mix CD that he gave me and I lost it. I had to pull off to the side of the road as my eye lids began to feel heavy. I was crying like a baby and my entire body began to feel numb. I had never felt this before. I called a close friend and left a message saying I was so close to turning around and coming right back. I could not accept that I was going to have to live so far from my best friends. I then called my mom. We talked for about an hour as I was driving and she calmed me down and made me feel so much better about my decision. This whole time I had all of my friends telling me to just stay in California but, nobody was there to tell me that I probably made the right decision. So I moved onward and completed the trek back home.

It's only been three days but I miss all of my friends so much. I miss the beach. I miss Yogurtland. I miss waking up, walking outside, and having that unique feeling of knowing that you're living in California! Most of my friends have been asking me how the trip was, if I got back okay, and stuff like that has really made me feel loved. I am so lucky to have this group of people that care so much for me. It's all I want in life. These great relationships that we have with one another is really a big factor in how we make life tolerable. I'm going to try to make it back out to California before the summer is over. I already can't wait!

I've already been making some steps to getting my life on track out here. I am playing on a hockey team for the summer. I just got re-hired at Best Buy. I am staying optimistic for my "new" life here. By the end of the summer I plan on having my own place in Denver. I also plan on having many good relationships with friends.

I am sure that living here will get better as each day goes by but I will always be missing California whenever I'm not there. It has definitely become a home for me. I think that occasional visits and frequent contact with my friends in California will help a lot until I am able to move back. That is if I still want to do that in two years. As of now it seems like a no-brainer but I have learned the hard way that nothing can be set in stone until it actually happens.

P.S. I have cows for neighbors! There are seriously cows right across the way from my house. I went over to pet them yesterday.